I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
