I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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