No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
