If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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