Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
