he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
