Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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