Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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