I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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