it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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