Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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