the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
