U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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