i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
