u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
