Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
