we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
love makes seman taste better
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
