That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
