you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
