i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
