I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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