i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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