Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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