oh god the rape fog is back!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
