seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
