He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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