I should be sponsored by Trojan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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