Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
