I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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