Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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