I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize