Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
