If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
