am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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