I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
