He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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