Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
