I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We are two peas in an std pod
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dick very happy bro
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
