I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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