you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
