it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
