Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize