the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
