He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i think i just lost a toe
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
