Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
