Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
