I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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