I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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