I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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