is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
