as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
