Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize