omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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