..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
