Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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