I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Someone came in the potted fern
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
