this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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