well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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