There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
